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March 30, 2009
I accidentally read the wrong passage for the Lent devotion today. It is the scripture where Paul reminds the people that they do not belong to Paul, Apollos, or any other person. They were just the people who did the leg work, planted the seed, and watered it. God did the growing, the hard part.
In seminary, and ever since, I have always felt inadequate to be a minister. I wish I was a better person, I wish I was more patient, and I wish I was less selfish. Amazingly, despite these failings, God still is able to use me just fine. Planting a seed is the easy part. The truly amazing part is making that seed grow. Often times, when I look at the people who don't come to church, I feel like a failure. However, I need to remember that it is not all on my shoulders.
March 29, 2009
"No longer will a man teach his neighbor, or a man his brother, saying, 'Know the LORD' because they will all know me, from the least of them to the greatest," declares the LORD.
Honestly, today's Lent devotion did not really move me or make a lot of sense. However, I did like the scripture from Jeremiah. We are still waiting for the day when all people know God. Again, to be truthful, I am not sure what Jeremiah meant by this scripture.
At times, the prophets are depressing. Then, at times, they are unbelievably optimistic. Often, they can switch back and forth between these two modes within a paragraph. I can identify with this bipolarism. At times, I feel very optimistic that the world will be okay. At other times, I wonder if God doesn't get completely tired of our failurs.
Easter is a yearly reminder that God will redeem us. God will redeem me.
March 28, 2009
Ever since my childhood, I have always been fascinated by religion. My grandfather was an early and very positive influence on me to find God at work in my life. All of my life I have sought to be better, to be more loving, to live my life as Christ lived his. I have a long way to go, but this has always been my goal.
Even as a kid, I can remember how good it felt to go to church, leaving with the feeling that I had experienced God in a unique way and that I had the forgiveness necessary to start my week with a clean slate. I think that is what the Psalmist is talking about in Psalm 51.
Lisa and I have been looking forward to this weekend for a while now. We have absolutely nothing to do. The weather for the weekend looks cruddy, but I don't care. A big part of our house painting is done, we have no church events, and no one to visit.
Recently, Macey has started eating rice cereal once or twice a day. In fact, she is doing a lot now. Her newest trick is grabbing things. She has the thumbs, fingers, and arms working in perfect unison to grab whatever is sitting in front of her (drinks, tacos, paper, you name it ... she grabs it). However, she is also getting to be more fun. We pal around together at the Lowe's and just about anywhere else. We make faces at each other. We have developed buddies everywhere we go. At Lowe's, our buddy is a cashier named Peggy. At the 7-11, our buddy is Rosemary. So, in general, we have a lot of fun together ... which I am extremely thankful for.
March 27, 2009
Boy, have I ever blown it. It has been three or four days since I last did my devotion for Lent. Well, I have no good excuse.
The devotion for today reminded me that God is always waiting on me. Well, that is good to hear because I certainly do a good job of putting God in the waiting room at times.
I have learned something from my attempt to do a Lent devotional every day. My failure to post my Lent devotion reflection every day correlates with how well I have done at my spiritual life in general. So, the days when I did not follow through with the devotion have usually been the days when I prayed the least, was the least patient, and felt the farthest away from God.
Interestingly, no one has "busted my chops" when I missed a few days. Either no reads this or no one decided to hold me accountable. Either way, I have messed up several times along my journey through Lent. However, I have a couple more weeks to try and do better. That seems to be the name of the game: try and do better.
March 23, 2009
The devotional for today reminds us that God does not take sides, no matter how much we may wish it so. It is hard to fathom that God simply cares for all humans beings. It appears that God does not see black/white, gay/straight, American/Mexican, or any other division that we see. God just simply sees children in need of love and guidance. The hope for peace rests on us also understanding that.
Last week, I realized something I found a bit peculiar. Right beside Lisa, Macey is probably my best friend. She can't talk or do much, but she goes everywhere with me. I talk to her all of the time. We have fun together. We are lunch buddies. We are work buddies. We are chore buddies at home.
As I thought about Lent and my failures/sins, I recognized how those failures will one day affect Macey. I know that her outlook on life and how she handles life will be greatly influenced by me. I just hope that I end up a good influence for her.
March 22, 2009
"Starting with your birth and moving through the years, where have you experienced God's love for you? Name the people, the challenges and the experiences that reassure you that God has always loved you."
That is what the devotion for today asks of me. So, here is the best answer I have.
My grandfather gave me more love and friendship than any kid could ever expect from a grandparent. He was full of love, grace, and patience. He showed me more love than any other person ever has.
My step-dad, Wayne, stepped into my life at a time when my mom really needed him and when I really needed the influence. As a minister, he gave me good guidance to become a minister myself.
My mom and dad have always loved me.It is nice to know that. Even now, I know that my parents love me and are still there for me when I need help or just need to be frustrated.
Lisa has overlooked all of my dumb acts and selfishness in a way that I imagine God does.
In seminary, I struggled with my faith and my own self-perception. I thought there is no way that I could make it as a minister. Over the years since then, the struggle to become a minister has shown me that God accepts me and can use me just as I am.
Macey has helped me to become more selfless. Macey has complete trust in me to take care of her. That pushes me to have a similar kind of trust in God.
Like most people, I struggle at times to trust that God does love me and is guiding me. However, these experiences and people remind me that God is with me.
March 20, 2009
We mentioned this verse in Bible study just a couple of weeks ago. It is an interesting story. Like most people, I don't like snakes. Now that I think about it, yesterdays Lent devotional had snakes in its scripture. What a coincidence!
Things are going fine here at the church and at home. Macey and I are getting ready for the talent show. I told Lisa that we have an act put together. She is anxious to see what it is.
One of my other talents I have been working on is painting. We've been painting some of the house to get some color inside. Of course, we painted Macey's room a couple of shades of pink. Next, I moved on to the living room. I painted half of it and decided we didn't like the color. That is so frustrating, but I assume I am not the only person who has ever done that.
Anyway, back to Lent. I suppose the snake that the Israelites looked up to for healing reminds me of the cross that we Christians look up to for healing. I know that my faith has made my life better in so many ways and I am truly thankful for that.
March 19, 2009
I suppose there are two types of complaints: worthwhile and unworthwhile. At first, I was going to say valid and invalid. However, I think it is more useful to look at the worthiness of a complaint. Life is systematically unfair. So, there will always be valid complaints to be had. However, it is worth our time to complain? At times, we would be better off to fix the problem rather than spend time complaining about it.
However, I suppose we should look at the validity of our complaints. The Israelites did not have a valid or worthwhile complaint. They simply didn't like what God had provided them with.
I can identify with the Israelites more than I would like to admit. Lisa and I have received a barrage of doctor bills since Macey was born. At times, I complain that it just isn't fair. However, the truth is that God is taking care of us. We have food, shelter, clothes, and each other.
The Israelites didn't have a valid or worthwhile complaint in the wilderness. Neither do I.
March 18, 2009
When I think about Jesus driving out the money changers, I think about televangelists and the "prosperity theology" that has become so popular. Prosperity theology basically says that if we are faithful to God, God will reward us with things and material goods. Joel Osteen, Creflo Dollar, and so on follow this school of thought. I would be willing to bet that Job wouldn't agree with them. He was faithful and got run over rough-shod.
Being faithful to God will not guarantee your job, a good parking spot, or a healthy bank account. Being faithful to God is just the right thing to do. Of course, this is just my opinion. Being faithful to God does have its rewards ... they just might come in a form other than material and worldly success.
March 17, 2009
We live in a divided world. Everything has divisions. Even the divisions have divisions. Religion and faith is certainly not exempt from this version of Murphy's Law. Murphy's Law says whatever can go wrong will. As well, whatever can be divided will be divided.
The fact is that in the church there are so many points of view on other religions. Some people look at Jews, Muslims, and others with disdain and have no respect for their religion. Meanwhile, other folks take a much more moderate and tolerant view point.
Which group is right? As always, I don't know. However, I do believe this much. It does not do our world any good to show disdain and disrespect to people of other beliefs, religions, and viewpoints. Divisions are not so bad. What is bad is when we allow those divisions to mask our common humanity. I wonder what Jesus would say about all of this? Once, he did say that he had sheep of another pasture? Sure makes me think.
March 15, 2009
Thanks to Microsoft Vista, I have been without a computer for several days now. However, I have got it working again. So, I'll pick up with my Lent devotions.
"Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy that person. For God's temple is holy, and you are that temple".
Recently, in Sunday School, we were talking about John Calvin and his TULIP theology. The T stands for Total Depravity. There are several facets of Calvin's theology that I never could go along with ... total depravity is at the top of my list.
I see so much selfishness in people. However, I also see so much good. I see the world in the microcosm of my self. I have so much selfishness in myself. I also see the great good in me. Through the bad, I can still see God's spirit at rest in me. Depraved? Sure. Totally? No. As the old saying goes, "God don't make no junk!"
March 10, 2009
Yesterday, I accidentally did the devotion for today. So, I'll catch up on yesterday's devotion.
Psalm 105 is more than just a bit nostalgic. This Psalm looks back on God's oldest salvific acts amongst the Hebrews. The Psalm also reminds the reader that God was with the Israelites through their toughest times. I think it is often easier to see God's presence in hindsight. Looking back over my own life, I can see God at work in the years past, but not so clearly in the time present.
Sometimes, I wonder how clearly people 500 years from now will be able to see God at work in our world in 2009. Hindsight is indeed 20/20, but our God is at work in the world now. Psalm 105 reminds us of that.
Macey was blessed two days ago. On that day, Lisa and I asked God to bless Macey, to guide her, and to protect her. That is my prayer for her everyday. That is my prayer for all of us.
March 9, 2009
"Faith is worth more than a thousand pictures." Those are the closing words for the March 9th devotion from Luther Seminary. Hebrews 11 reminds us again and again that faith is a cornerstone of the Christian life.
Just a few minutes ago I received a phone call that a small boy, Jackson, had passed away unexpectedly. Calls like that don't inspire much faith. Instead, they leave questions like, "Why would God let this happen?" However, calls like that remind me that we are indeed living in broken bodies and broken spirits. Calls like that should move us to greater faith and greater dependence upon God.
Honestly, I often don't like living in a world where things like that happen. I have to remember that we are all sojourners, headed for a better destination. At the end of our journey, I have faith there will be no more of those stories. Faith will get us through all of the ups and downs of this life.
March 8, 2009
Jesus asked, "Who do you say that I am?" If he had asked this to one of my seminary professors, he would have received a long discourse fluffed up with a lot of $5 words. Of course, he was looking for a short and simple answer: the messiah, the son of God.
Often, I believe the answers to life's most difficult questions are much shorter and easier to find than we think. Jesus never seemed to care for philosophy, long rhetoric, or haughty academics. He was an everyday guy who was very pragmatic. I like that about him.
March 7, 2009
I can really identify with Abraham. I know that, just like him, I make some really good decisions. However, just like him, I often fail. And, might I add that I fail miserably. Honestly, Paul was a failure. The disciples were failures. Moses was a complete flop. David? An unbelievable mess. Saul? He may have actually done better than David, but that is debatable. He was a flop all the same. I will not say a cross word about any of the women in the bible. They did a great job!
When I feel like the biggest failure, it is comforting to know that God forgives me. It is nice to know that God can still use me.
March 6, 2009
The devotional for today really hit the nail on the head for me. The scripture doesn't show Abram or Sarai in a very good light. In fact, they look absolutely despicable. It is indeed comforting to know that the giants of faith were just as sinful and petty as I can be at times.
In fact, that seems to be the human condition and part of the aging process. As we age, we begin to see or friends, family, and ourself for what we really are: sinful and selfish.
Lent is a very sobering time. However, it helps to remember that we are all dealing with the struggles of sin ... even if our flavors of sin are a bit different.
March 5, 2009
I found it interesting that the devotion for today comes from Psalm 22, which sounds a lot like what Jesus said and endured on his way to death. The devotion mentions that Psalm 22 turns from the feeling of being abandoned to the hope of God's loving presence. Like the writer of Psalm 22, I often feel that God is nowhere near by. However, it sure is good to know that God is still there through all the struggles.
I have found it hard to do the devotion everyday. It is always a struggle to carve out time for it. However, it is nice to slow down and get my priorities straightened out. It is good to feel close to God.
Things are going pretty well at the house. We are all moved in and just about have everything put away. Lisa and I have lived in the apartment for about 8 months. We forgot how nice it was to have a house. Here is a list of things I appreciate about having my own home:
- I can walk from my car to the front door in less than 15 seconds.
- Thanks to #1 we don't have to struggle to carry groceries up to the third floor.
- Again, thanks to #1 I can run out and start the car to let it warm up.
- I can jump up and down, sing, drop things on the floor and not worry about waking up my downstairs neighbors.
- We have plenty of room to store our stuff.
- We can have visitors over and let them spend the night.
- I can cut down trees and plant trees.
- I can have my own garden.
- I can get another cat if I want to without breaking some rule (although there is NO chance of this happening)
There are more things to be thankful for. However, I am just flat-out thankful to have a home. I know many people don't have this or even have one as nice as I do. If you have taken your house for granted, don't forget to give thanks to God. Take care!
March 4, 2009
"Would service to God still make sense if there were no heaven waiting at the end? The question of what motivates us to faith in God and service to others goes to the heart of our call."
What a tough question! Would I still serve God if there was no reward in it for me? There are times when I fail to serve God even with the rewards in place. Well, I suppose the correct answer is, "Yes, I'd still serve."
Despite his blunders, Job was still extraordinarily patient and faithful to God. My experience has been that most mainline Biblical scholars do not believe Job was written based on an actual person. Supposedly, this is an ancient and common literary genre for the time it was written (LONGGGGG ago). Regardless of it's factuality, I like Job and I look to him as a model of faith. I think that was part of the reason Job was written.
However, something else struck me about Job. From what little we read, he seemed like a really good and loving father. He ate dinner with his rather large family. He made good for any sins his kids may have committed. Sounds a lot like Jesus now that I think about it. Anyway, I am still learning how to be a dad. Macey is only 4 months old. I never thought I would like being a dad so much. That little girl brings so much joy to my life. Job is not only a pillar of faith, but also of fatherhood. I pray I can live up to that.
March 3, 2009
I appreciated today's Lent Devotional. It reminded me of my granddad's favorite scripture, Proverbs 3:5 ... Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. I have grown to like that scripture more and more since my grandfather passed away and learned it was his most loved scripture in the Bible. That verse really says what kind of person my grandfather was. Over the years, he got to be pretty good at not leaning only on his own understanding. He truly was a person who possessed wisdom ... not necessarily knowledge, but wisdom. He had good sense and had good judgment. That is a quality that usually takes a lifetime to develop and use properly. I hope that by the time Macey is older, I will have gained enough wisdom to help her navigate the choppy waters of life.
March 2, 2009
1 John says we know God best when we keep the commandments. I suppose that makes sense to me. I started to think about the 10 commandments that were passed down thousands of years ago. How well do I keep them? How often do I think about them? God knows I brink them often enough. However, Lent reminds me that God offers grace for humans who can't keep up the pace of the commandments. That's the good news we find in Lent.
March 1, 2009
As I see my last post was February 26, I am disappointed with myself that I have not done a better job of sticking to my goal. I have not kept up my devotions for Lent as well as I intended. However, that captures the spirit of Lent ... messing up, being forgiven, and trying to do better.
I never thought of the temptation of Christ as the Lent devotional does. I never considered that the wilderness was where Jesus needed to go. I always assumed he just ended up there for no good reason. Jesus was able to grow and remain strong in this harsh situation. Too often, the rough times break my faith down instead of under girding it. So, whatever place God is prodding me to go, I shall go faithfully ... even if it is a dry desert where life is hard.
February 26, 2009
Well, I wasn't able to post anything yesterday because I had no internet in my moving process. So, I'm posting my last two days worth of Lent reflections here.
February 25: I really liked the scripture from Isaiah that we used at our Ash Wednesday service. "Is not this the fast that I chose: to loose the bonds of injustice, to let the oppressed go free, share your bread with the hungry, to bring the homeless poor into your house, when you see the naked, to cover them, then you shall call and the Lord will answer" (Isaiah 58:6-9). As I said at the service, I really appreciated the scripture. It reminded me that Lent is about so much more that just contemplating our sins, saying we're sorry, and promising to do better. Lent is about getting out of our homes, jobs, and churches. Lent is about service and making the world right. That is a much tougher calling that to simply meditate on my sins.
February 26: I especially enjoyed the first two lines of the devotional for today. "Anyone who accepts the path God laid out for them quickly realizes that vocations turn out to be difficult experiences. Moses discovers that liberating the Israelites from Egypt carries setbacks." I can remember setting in classes through seminary, excited about this vocation that God had given me. Little did I realize what a bumpy road it would be. As Frank Burns from M*A*S*H once said about his marriage, "It ain't all beer and skittles." Church life is not always easy. It is often made up of helping a diverse group of people to all get along on this ship that we share on Fleming Avenue. However, like Moses, I know God will get me through the more difficult times and in the end we'll end up better off. I would say that is applicable to life in general.
February 16, 2009
Several day s ago, Lisa and I were watching a documentary about Antarctica. I was reminded that when a penguin egg is laid, it is the father who sits on the egg through the frigid weather while the mom goes frolicking off to find food for herself. Apparently, not much can make the father move off that egg ... not even dinner. These males will starve themselves just to keep that egg warm.
That is how I have felt here recently. I will go into the office a little later now and work some more at home in the evening to make things work out with keeping Macey. So, by the time I get up and moving, it is time to get to work. It is a real chore to feed the kid, the pets, walk the dog, and get things packed up and out the door. This morning, I remember asking myself, "I have time to eat breakfast or brush my teeth. Which one do I want to do?" If it makes you feel better, I chose to brush my teeth. I thought, "Boy, would it ever be convenient if Crest made a toothpaste you could just eat?" That sure would make life easier at the moment.
I am having another debate in my mind. Do I go ahead with the sermon series about the long-term planning process or do I preach the lectionary texts throughout Lent? I haven't decided, yet.
All in all, things are going okay. We are trying to pack up. I have not made a lot of progress, but it always comes together.
One last thought to share. Every year at Lent I do an awful job of following my Lent Devotional everyday. So, I am going to do my devotion and offer up some thoughts each day on my web journal here. I figure if I don't do my devotion each day, it will show. I am trying to motivate myself to do a bit better. So, I hope you'll get something good out of my Lent thoughts. Hope you have a good week.
February 3, 2009
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Finally, we caught Macey smiling while I had the camera. She really is cute when she is happy. Of course, she is relatively cute even when she is not happy.
Well, I am frustrated. No snow! At times, I can't believe this is the same Roanoke I left eight years ago. I was telling the Subway guy that it seemed like it snowed all the time when I was a kid. Not now. I don't know if my sense of perception was off when I was a kid or if the weather has really shifted. Anyway, I'll keep hoping for snow.
Today, I went to a meeting of the Williamson Road area ministers. As we were leaving, the priest from the Greek Orthodox church asked me, "Are you off today?" I thought to myself, "What a silly question?" I was obviously working. Then I looked around. Everyone had suits or collars on. Here I sat wearing a t-shirt and baseball cap with tennis shoes. I really just don't buy into the whole dress-up thing. It is fine for some people, not me. My time and money are way too precious to waste on dressing up. It is the one area that I have always been criticized (formally and informally) on over the years. Jim Rivers from First Christian Church Downtown Roanoke is my hero as far as this is concerned. I often see him in Hawaiian shirts. I could be wrong, but I just don't see Jesus wearing a suit. So, I'll stick with my attire.
Enjoy the rest of the week and keep your fingers crossed for snow.
January 26, 2009
I was over at the apartment's fitness center running, and something occurred to me. As I watched the TV (while running ... isn't this a great world??!!), I realized that my life had gone from Seinfield to Everybody Loves Raymond. I used to live the bachelor life, in the apartment, and hanging around with my friends. Over time, that has all been replaced with a house, baby, wife, and bills. However, I am okay with it. I have two unbelievably wonderful girls in my life.
Last week, on Friday, when I walked in the door at home, I realized I had forgotten something at church. At first, I was really frustrated and irritated that I had to drive all the way back to church. However, I ended up enjoying our ride. I sat in my usual seat, Macey sat in hers, and the dog rode shot-gun. The weather was unbelievable for January. So, we put the windows half-way down, cranked up "Rocketman" by Elton John, and let our hair fly in the wind. Okay, we didn't let our hair fly in the wind, but the rest is accurate. It was so good to be out in warm weather that I found myself being thankful to God for all of my life.
If you see me, the dog, and Macey driving around town with our heads out the windows singing "Rocketman", we have not lost our minds ... we're just enjoying the life God has given us. Hope you can do the same.
January 18, 2009
I am not sure what to write about. I am assuming that something will come together as I go along.
Recently, I have come to understand just how much I appreciate the people here at Bethany. As we've tried to keep Macey with me and find a car to drive while Lisa's is in the shop, I've been thankful for how much the church has helped us. Lisa and I truly are thankful that we are able to keep Macey with us and on occasion leave her with someone from the church who we trust.
One thing has surprised me about the time I have spent at Bethany. I didn't foresee this, but I have really enjoyed the Bible study that we have on Thursday mornings. I like the conversations we have and how it forces me to think about things I would otherwise ignore.
The other cool thing is that the Young Adults have started meeting during Sunday School. It is not a huge group, but we're there. So, I am really happy about that. We have some really good conversation in there.
Well, Lisa and I are hoping to get some good news about her broken down car. In the meantime, I am taking this as an exercise in faith. See you at church.
January 9, 2009
It has been a while since I have had a chance to write. Most of the time, I genuinely enjoy writing in my journal. I also keep a journal for Macey on my own. Between those journals and my sermons, I do a lot of writing.
Lisa went back to work for good this week. And, for the time being, I am watching Macey while I work. First, let me say how difficult that has been. My promise to the church is that my work will not suffer. I am passionate about my job and that won't change. The only thing that will change is how I get my job done. I've learned I have to be creative. So, while I walk down through the church halls with Macey on my shoulder to make her happy, I go over my sermon in my head. Sometimes, I have to work at home until 2:30 am and then not get to the office until 10 or 11 am. I just have to work smarter, not harder. It has been a rough week getting used to this setup, but I think I am getting used to it.
I'll say one more thing about the situation. I called another minister who I trust greatly. I asked her if she thought I could make this situation work and if she knew any other ministers who had kept their babies while they worked. She said yes to both questions. However, she also said I was the first male minister that she had heard of doing such a thing. I didn't realize that many people find it odd that the dad is working and taking care of baby. So, I gave myself a little pat on the back for that bit of knowledge.
One day this week, I went to Toys 'R Us to get a vibrating baby seat to keep Macey happy at the office. As I was looking at these things, another woman walked up. I asked her if she had used them for her children and if they worked. We talked that out for a spell. Then, she asked if I was an Episcopal Priest (I had my black shirt and collar on and Macey in the buggy). I explained my situation and she said what a coincidence that was. She went to an Episcopalian church in Rocky Mount and they just got a new husband and wife who were serving as their priests. The woman told me they were in their early 30's, had just had a baby, and were keeping the baby while they worked. She said, "They take that baby everywhere." At times, I feel like I am the only male-minister in the world trying to work and watch a baby at the same time. So, my chance-meeting made me feel a little better.
Well, the baby is crying. So, I am off to make her happy and go over my sermon. Take care!
January 2, 2009
Well, it is a brand new year. I was thinking about what 2009 will bring us. Without a doubt, it will bring more troubles, more losses, and more frustration. But, my faith tells me that 2009 will be another year where God is still alive and still working out the divine purposes. That gives me hope that 2009 will also be a year of miracles, joy, and growth. I hope that is true for all of us and that we can all have that vision of God's movement in our lives.
Here at Bethany, we have a lot of work to do in the coming year. As I sit in my chair, I can't imagine how we are going to get it all done. It looks like a ton of work and I don't always know how we will accomplish what God wants us to do. However, I am always reminded of one of my favorite Bible stories where Haggai reminds the Israelites to rebuild the temple, to get to work, that God is with them. That stories moves me to work, to dream big, and to remember that God will be behind our work.
Personally, I have to admit, I'll be glad when spring gets here. I don't like cold weather, leafless trees, or dead grass. Every now and then, God teases us with a beautiful, warm spring day right in the middle of winter. Those days are a taste of what is to come. That reminds that God has many more good things coming in store for us. Have a good weekend!